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Book Drama and Bucket Lists

July 12, 2018

Years ago, too many years ago, I picked up a series of books in high school from the library. It was known as the Darkangel trilogy by Meredith Anne Pierce. They were high fantasy novels, and apparently very popular, having quite the following.

 

I devoured those books. Read one a day even though I was in school, no doubt hiding them away behind textbooks until I could read freely between classes, during lunch, and when I got home to lay on the floor with a pillow and continue. 

 

On the third book, I was hooked, heart beat racing, eyes searching for the ending I’d been waiting for and instead, ended up heartbroken. I mean I was a teen aged, sobbing, hiccuping mess. Because that woman decided to end a trilogy in a horrible way. It was that day I decided that even if I wrote tragic stories, there’d be no way I was ever going to drag someone through multiple books only to crush their hopes and dreams. 

 

When I thought of these books the other day, I couldn’t remember the name of them, just that I had written them down in the back of one of my journals and that I hated them with the burning passion of a thousand suns. So, I looked in my journal, found the list of books, then found them on Goodreads. Now, as much as I wanted to write a heavy handed review, it was many, many moons ago that I read them…and what if I had just been overreacting as a child?

 

It is safe to say, that after reading some of the reviews on Goodreads for the third book, I was not alone.

 

Validation feels good, man. 

 

I flipped through a few pages of my journal, just to see if there was anything else relevant, perhaps some “dear diary” entry that expressed my utter sorrow on completing the trilogy, and instead, I found a bucket list.

 

It was written in high school, had some common things that I’d imagine to be on most people’s lists when they’re fourteen and desperate to figure out what the world is really like. But to my utter surprise, and growing joy…the number one thing on my bucket list had nothing to do with anyone else. It wasn’t getting a boyfriend, getting married, or having a family of my own…but it was something utterly selfish, determined, a dream that I wanted to come true more than anything else…

 

1. Write a book. 

 

Sometimes when you’re accomplishing your dream, you forget how much you wanted it, how much you loved the idea of it. It gets lost in the politics, in self doubt, in the muck of everyday life and even when accomplished it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. But to my younger self, if she could see me now?

 

You better believe it’d mean something to her.

 

I wrote a book.

 

Validation feels good, man. 
 

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